Big List of Things I Could Have Been

Big List of Things I Could Have Been

Photo by Andreas Wienemann

Photo by Holly Kuchera
Photo by Holly Kuchera
Call us what you want — multi-passionate, multi-potentialite, passion pluralites, scanners, renaissance souls — I’m one of those people who has a lot of different interests. Like most kids, I went through a big list of what I would like to be when I grew up. Unlike most kids, this list never really went away. I always knew I had enough interests to be a lot of different things. And after I got sick and had to re-invent my own dreams, I went through a big list of what I actually could accomplish. Before finally choosing (or rather, creating) my current path, I thought of a lot of different things…..

Things I have enough passion to do, but decided not to:

  • Scientist/microbiologist/virologist/meteorologist – Nature inspires me possibly more than anything else. The sea, plant life, animals, trees, mushrooms, green, the seasons, the sky and weather, space – I love it all. This was my first major in college, but I quickly changed it for various reasons.
  • Computer repair + supplies shop owner/programmer/sysadmin – Changed my college major from above and earned a degree in IT. I still fix computers, just not professionally.
  • Professional organizer – Organizing a shelf or something similar helps me unwind better than a soak in the tub or watching TV. It’s still being busy, but it’s a quiet, slow, methodical type of busy that helps me regenerate.
  • Musician – Music inspires me so much I’d love to write some.
  • Photographer – I wouldn’t want to shoot weddings full-time. I’d more want to shoot for National Geographic, travel around the world.

Things I have a romantic notion about but I don’t have certain qualities needed:

  • Police officer/detective – I’m too emotional, I crack under pressure, I’m not physical enough
  • Doctor, esp with Doctors Without Borders – see above
  • Commercial Airline Pilot – see above
  • Vagabond who travels the world on almost no money – Not physical enough, not social enough, high pain response so I need comfort

Big ego-stretchers that I just enjoy fantasizing about:

  • Emperor – Remake the world in MY image!
  • Dictator – Do my bidding, sheeples!
  • Cult Leader – Do my bidding, sheeples!
  • High-powered, mega-rich CEO – Powerrrrr

What I actually am:

An artist

and I probably always have been, even when I didn’t realize it.

Photo by amerune
Photo by amerune

I was told when I was younger that being this interested in things would make my life difficult because I’d always be out of focus. I got the feeling that not having a singular focus was a bad thing, but I really don’t think it is. Just because other people aren’t as multi-faceted doesn’t mean I should be like them. This is who I am. Can’t change it. And I don’t want to try to, because I think in the end it makes me more interesting.

So instead of becoming all of these things I could be, I channel all that passion into my chosen work. My love of nature and tiny worlds shines through what I create. I’m still very tech-oriented so I work to build a strong presence online as well as offline. My art has a bit of a design-y element, and I do my own design work. I don’t make music, but I certainly listen to it! I still take photographs, but it’s more of a hobby. I’m not sure if my love of organization shows through my art, but it’s in play behind the scenes. {: I still make the world as I think it should be, just in my own mind.

And I still wander. I still roam.

That simple word — artist — doesn’t really express all that I am, all that I could have been, and all that I might be in the future, but as I’m a bit of a word elitist I haven’t found (or created) a word yet that I like more, so that’s what I use. And no, that word doesn’t express all that it could, but that’s why I blog. {:

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